I know this is quite long, but I only write because it is worth the read.
If you know me at all, you would know that I have never EVER been anywhere near what you would consider “athletic”. The only sport I have ever done throughout my life has been track (in middle school, I remind you)…and trust me that was only because my best friend at the time wanted to do it. It did seem to keep me somewhat in shape during the season, but as soon as it ended, I was back to my good ‘ole self, not even thinking about working out. To be completely honest with you all, I may have only worked out 4 or 5 times during my entire high school career. Really guys, I never thought to make time for it. Honestly, I never even really saw a reason for me to try and fit in my day. I was pretty confident with how my body looked and at the time, I thought that was the only reason people worked out- to change how they looked. Mind you, I also hated what I looked like in athletic gear and I most definitely hated the whole dripping sweat part. Not really my thing. So therefore, I never worked out. Ever.
This past year, along with many other goals I started on, I found myself interested in modeling locally here in Columbus. I walked in my first local fashion show last summer and connected with such a great group of inspiring people that I realize now I would have never have gotten the chance to meet otherwise. After the two runway shows in July had passed, I realized this was not just a onetime thing for me. I found something I wanted to pursue.
I did not expect myself to get as far as I have today; but of course, I am extremely thankful. Now, it is almost a year later, and I am headed to Chicago at the end of the month to travel around to the “big time” agencies that are located inside the city. Since I feel this may be a once and a lifetime opportunity for me, I have decided that there is no choice but for me to do everything in my power to make the absolute best out of the experience. This means, I have had photo shoots on top of photo shoots, trying to make my portfolio the absolute best it can be before walking into this huge intimidating city. I’ve perfected my walk to the best of my ability. I am training myself to do the absolute best I can so the only aspect I know that could potentially risk my chances of becoming a “new face” for an agency is my height. Unfortunately I cannot change the fact I am an average 5’6, although if there was a machine that could stretch my body, I may have stopped to consider that.
About a month ago, I went to a photographer to get my Polaroid’s done. Polaroids are very, very simple and natural shots taken with little to no makeup on and a bikini. They are raw photos meaning no editing; nothing special. It’s a blank, white wall and just you- all natural. Agencies love these. They want to see what they could create with you. You are a blank canvas waiting to be worked on. When I received the pictures back, everything was up to standard. My face expressions were good. My skin looked fresh. And of course my hair was highlighted, long and naturally wavy. Though all those things seemed to be up to par, I could not help but notice my body. My poor, not toned body. As I stated in the beginning, I never really had an issue with the way my body looked. I’ve always been reasonably skinny, sometimes on the thicker side, and I’ve known that and never really been insecure about it. But when I looked at the picture, I noticed I was skinny, but of course- nowhere near toned. Deep down, I knew this was not agency material. I spent hours prior to taking my Polaroid’s, studying models that had signed with agencies like Ford, IMG, and I concentrated on what they looked like in their polaroid’s. I knew I needed to look like them- or even better. When receiving my photos back, I knew that my body in its current state would most definitely hold me back from signing with an agency in Chicago.
So, I realized I had two options. Stay content with my untoned body and risk walking into the agencies with the body I had OR step outside my comfort zone, work out, tone up, and walk into the agencies feeling great, accomplished and ready to compete. I knew there was really no second option for me. I would not let myself choose to stay how I was. I was ready to compete.
It has only been a couple of weeks of working out for me, but I am already starting to see lots of change. I am not just talking about a change in my body. Yes, that was all I was expecting to get out of this last minute personal fitness expedition of mine. But, I have already gained so much more from it. Every time I walk into the gym, I have a goal. I have something I am working towards and I go to this place to only walk out satisfied and content with myself, physically and mentally. My boyfriend always told me that working out was a way to become mentally stronger too, and I always just thought that was pish posh. I blew his wisdom off. But what I have begun to realize is it was not pish posh at all. It is SO true!
I also encountered an epiphany the other day. I realized I am finally passed that weird “awkward” stage in life and now the years where I can look my absolute best I will ever in life have already began. I wondered to myself one day at the gym, “Why waste these precious years away when it is in my power to look however I want?” I have decided that I will take charge to strive to be the most physically appealing I can throughout these few oh-so-precious years I have. I want to feel “hella” good about myself and my appearance. WHY NOT?
During my first few treacherous times at the gym, I would get on my phone while I was on the elliptical and go onto Instagram pages that focused on fitness. I would admire the girls with the fit bodies that would pop up on my timeline and it would push me to go a little harder on the elliptical because I knew it only meant I was one step closer to looking like them. Yes, I am admitting to this.
But, the other day something changed. I went into the gym, lifted, then hopped onto the elliptical. Instead of taking my phone out, I put it to the side and began watching all the people around me. It became such a mesmerizing thing to watch. I looked at every single person individually as they worked there asses off on the treadmill, the elliptical, or the bicycle, and knew they all had a goal. They all had something they came in to work towards. They all had a reason to be there. Whether some were battling a health issue, others are hoping to see an improvement in their physical appearance or maybe an improvement on their inner self and over all mentality. Maybe some were training for their sports season coming up because of how bad they want to make that new personal record. For some, maybe it is the only thing in their day they look forward to; the only thing that satisfies them. WHATEVER the reason may be that they are pushing themselves so hard, it is all in hopes of self-improvement. They all leave this place with a smile of pure accomplishment lurking across their faces. They walk out feeling like the world is in their hands. And it is. But the best part about it is- they know it.
This past year, along with many other goals I started on, I found myself interested in modeling locally here in Columbus. I walked in my first local fashion show last summer and connected with such a great group of inspiring people that I realize now I would have never have gotten the chance to meet otherwise. After the two runway shows in July had passed, I realized this was not just a onetime thing for me. I found something I wanted to pursue.
I did not expect myself to get as far as I have today; but of course, I am extremely thankful. Now, it is almost a year later, and I am headed to Chicago at the end of the month to travel around to the “big time” agencies that are located inside the city. Since I feel this may be a once and a lifetime opportunity for me, I have decided that there is no choice but for me to do everything in my power to make the absolute best out of the experience. This means, I have had photo shoots on top of photo shoots, trying to make my portfolio the absolute best it can be before walking into this huge intimidating city. I’ve perfected my walk to the best of my ability. I am training myself to do the absolute best I can so the only aspect I know that could potentially risk my chances of becoming a “new face” for an agency is my height. Unfortunately I cannot change the fact I am an average 5’6, although if there was a machine that could stretch my body, I may have stopped to consider that.
About a month ago, I went to a photographer to get my Polaroid’s done. Polaroids are very, very simple and natural shots taken with little to no makeup on and a bikini. They are raw photos meaning no editing; nothing special. It’s a blank, white wall and just you- all natural. Agencies love these. They want to see what they could create with you. You are a blank canvas waiting to be worked on. When I received the pictures back, everything was up to standard. My face expressions were good. My skin looked fresh. And of course my hair was highlighted, long and naturally wavy. Though all those things seemed to be up to par, I could not help but notice my body. My poor, not toned body. As I stated in the beginning, I never really had an issue with the way my body looked. I’ve always been reasonably skinny, sometimes on the thicker side, and I’ve known that and never really been insecure about it. But when I looked at the picture, I noticed I was skinny, but of course- nowhere near toned. Deep down, I knew this was not agency material. I spent hours prior to taking my Polaroid’s, studying models that had signed with agencies like Ford, IMG, and I concentrated on what they looked like in their polaroid’s. I knew I needed to look like them- or even better. When receiving my photos back, I knew that my body in its current state would most definitely hold me back from signing with an agency in Chicago.
So, I realized I had two options. Stay content with my untoned body and risk walking into the agencies with the body I had OR step outside my comfort zone, work out, tone up, and walk into the agencies feeling great, accomplished and ready to compete. I knew there was really no second option for me. I would not let myself choose to stay how I was. I was ready to compete.
It has only been a couple of weeks of working out for me, but I am already starting to see lots of change. I am not just talking about a change in my body. Yes, that was all I was expecting to get out of this last minute personal fitness expedition of mine. But, I have already gained so much more from it. Every time I walk into the gym, I have a goal. I have something I am working towards and I go to this place to only walk out satisfied and content with myself, physically and mentally. My boyfriend always told me that working out was a way to become mentally stronger too, and I always just thought that was pish posh. I blew his wisdom off. But what I have begun to realize is it was not pish posh at all. It is SO true!
I also encountered an epiphany the other day. I realized I am finally passed that weird “awkward” stage in life and now the years where I can look my absolute best I will ever in life have already began. I wondered to myself one day at the gym, “Why waste these precious years away when it is in my power to look however I want?” I have decided that I will take charge to strive to be the most physically appealing I can throughout these few oh-so-precious years I have. I want to feel “hella” good about myself and my appearance. WHY NOT?
During my first few treacherous times at the gym, I would get on my phone while I was on the elliptical and go onto Instagram pages that focused on fitness. I would admire the girls with the fit bodies that would pop up on my timeline and it would push me to go a little harder on the elliptical because I knew it only meant I was one step closer to looking like them. Yes, I am admitting to this.
But, the other day something changed. I went into the gym, lifted, then hopped onto the elliptical. Instead of taking my phone out, I put it to the side and began watching all the people around me. It became such a mesmerizing thing to watch. I looked at every single person individually as they worked there asses off on the treadmill, the elliptical, or the bicycle, and knew they all had a goal. They all had something they came in to work towards. They all had a reason to be there. Whether some were battling a health issue, others are hoping to see an improvement in their physical appearance or maybe an improvement on their inner self and over all mentality. Maybe some were training for their sports season coming up because of how bad they want to make that new personal record. For some, maybe it is the only thing in their day they look forward to; the only thing that satisfies them. WHATEVER the reason may be that they are pushing themselves so hard, it is all in hopes of self-improvement. They all leave this place with a smile of pure accomplishment lurking across their faces. They walk out feeling like the world is in their hands. And it is. But the best part about it is- they know it.